Because it’s not always just “bad luck”—sometimes it’s your nervous system doing cartwheels.
Ever dated someone who pulled away the second you got close? Or maybe you panic when someone texts back too quickly like, “Whoa, calm down, Jason, I just met you.”
That, my friend, might have less to do with your star sign or “bad vibes”—and more to do with your attachment style.
Let’s break it down in a totally non-boring way, shall we?
It’s basically the way your brain and body handle closeness in relationships.
You developed it as a kid, and now it’s running the show on dates without you even noticing.
You’re cool with closeness, but also cool with space. You text back, make plans, and don’t freak out if someone takes a few hours to reply.
You say things like:
“Sure, I like you. Let’s hang out again.” No games. Just vibes.
Famous in the wild:
Paul Rudd. Zendaya. Literally anyone who doesn’t ghost.
You’re all in. Fast. You replay every message. If someone takes 4 hours to reply, you’re googling “signs he’s lost interest” while eating ice cream and spiraling.
You say things like:
“Hey! Just checking you got my last message 😅”
(Even though you saw the read receipt.)
Your dating superpower:
You care. A lot. Maybe just… pace yourself? Before you press send on those anxious texts, distract yourself with something fun just for you.
You love the idea of love… until it shows up at your door with feelings. Then suddenly you’re “super busy” for three weeks.
You say things like:
“I’m just not ready for anything serious right now…”
(…with anyone I actually like.)
Spoiler: You do want connection. You just need it on your terms, with plenty of breathing room.
You want closeness and you fear it. You pull people in, then push them away, then cry when they leave, then wonder why dating is so hard.
You say things like:
“I don’t trust anyone—but also, where are you going? Come back.”
It’s giving “This could be a great indie drama but also a nightmare.”
Because dating is already tricky in a small city like Perth.
Mix in unresolved emotional patterns, and you’ll keep matching with people who trigger your style—without even realising it.
Knowing your attachment style helps you:
You can probably find a few free attachment style quizzes on ‘the Google’ but I like this one from Psychology Today, click here.
Your attachment style isn’t a life sentence. It’s just a starting point.
You can totally shift toward a more secure style (aka peaceful, confident, non-anxious dating) with a bit of awareness, practice—and maybe someone who doesn’t vanish after date three.
We’ll be covering exactly how to do that in future posts.
So stay tuned, stay cute, and maybe text them back…if they ghost you, please let them go – you deserve so much more.