Because some of these bios belong in a museum called “No Thanks.”
Let’s face it: dating apps can feel like a chaotic lucky dip. You swipe, you squint, you wonder if “adventurous” means skydiving or just owning a NutriBullet.
But in between the hopefuls and hotties, there are also some… 🚩walking red flags. And while we’re not here to judge, we are here to protect your peace, your time, and your screenshot folder.
Here are 5 of the most common red flags you’ll run into on dating apps—and what to do when you see them waving in the digital wind.
Translation: I want relationship benefits without relationship responsibility—but hey, I’ll keep things vague enough to keep you guessing!
What to do:
Swipe left unless you’re also looking for something casual. If you want clarity, this person will give you ✨everything but.✨
Honestly, are we dating or applying for a spot on Naked and Afraid?
Look, we all love a good jawline. But if someone can’t be bothered to write anything about themselves, that’s not mysterious—it’s just lazy.
What to do:
Ask yourself: Would you rather have great banter, or just admire their biceps until they ghost you mid-convo?
(And nothing else.)
This one’s a classic. A bio full of dry one-liners, vague snark, and maybe a “don’t take life too seriously” thrown in for flavour.
Red flag level: Medium.
Why? These bios usually come from people hiding behind humour instead of showing actual personality.
What to do:
If the sarcasm feels like a wall, it probably is. Swipe with caution—or prepare for a date where everything is ironic but nothing is real.
Are we dating you or your entire cricket team?
If you have to play “Where’s Wally?” just to figure out who they are, it’s not cute—it’s confusing. Bonus red flag if they’re suspiciously better looking in only one of the photos… and that photo might not even be them.
What to do:
Swipe left unless you love puzzles. Or just message: “Quick question—are you the hot one or the one holding the dog?”
Ah yes, the checklist bio. Nothing says “emotionally available” like a list of rules longer than a rental application.
Red flag level: High.
If someone leads with demands and rigid expectations, imagine what it’s like dating them.
What to do:
Swipe left. You’re not here to audition—you’re here to connect.
While we’re at it, here are a few green flags that usually mean good vibes:
Red flags aren’t always dealbreakers—but they are invitations to slow down and check in with yourself.
Are you chasing potential… or peace? Are you swiping from boredom… or because you’re ready for something real?
Whatever your answer, we’re here to help you date smarter, flirt harder, and laugh through the chaos.
So go forth, Perth single. Trust your gut, honour your standards, and maybe—just maybe—stop matching with guys named Brayden who say “let’s vibe and see what happens.”